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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Awkward Moments with Gifts

Hello again!

Lights by Journey is playing right now and it's just the perfect time to blog i feel! With that said, I'm pretty stoked to have this next month off because of school is over. The beginning of December was just a living hell because of school and finals. I still have yet to get my results back and i'm just a little stressed. The hardest semester of my college career was pretty manageable i'd say. Of course i pretty much talked to absolutely no one but i'd say it was worth it.

Now that I have a lot more free time, I'm trying to relax and play fun portable games! The one i'm currently on is Chrono Trigger, and after i beat that i think i'm going to play Super Mario RPG because a certain princess of mine has never played it, and its got me wanting to play it again. I'm not particularly in the mood to play games, but playing an old game brings back good memories and it's nice to play again. Playing a brand new game would just seem draining to me i think. The only new games i feel like playing now adays are competitive games or games that have a long history of game play like mario or donkey kong.

Anyway, putting games aside, I've had a pretty good December. I'm not going to lie, November was a whole lot better to me because i didn't really like the stress that came along with crazy shoppers, drivers, and moms but I did enjoy seeing the faces on my friends and family's faces when I gave them their gifts. I'm very glad i could see everyone, from my immediate family as well as my other family, i even got to hang out with my girlfriends family. All was well during the weekend of Xmas. What I enjoyed most was playing scrabble and Super Mario Bros Wii with the GF's family.

I've noticed Christmas always has one flaw, and it's unfortunate but sometimes people get gifts for others and others didn't get a gift for the other person. I got this amazing cook book for Christmas because of course, i like to cook. It was from one of my best friends sister and i felt super bad not getting her and the rest of his family a gift. What do you do? She's done so much for me this year i feel like. I bought her a birthday present but since i didn't immediately have a Christmas present for her, is a late one appropriate? Or should I just not get one at all? I can understand the other side too, i get gifts for friends that i don't expect to get gifts in return. They feel bad, but i tell them it's not their obligation to get me a gift in the first place. Before we could just shrug it off as, "Oh, he doesn't have a job, He's still young, He's still blah blah" But now that i'm making money, there's really no excuse besides that money thing, but who isn't a little low on cash these days? It's an excuse I try not to play too much.Gift giving is just a awkward situation in general. It just opens up all the other thoughts of awkward gift giving moments in my head. For example, what about the part where everyone has been given a gift, except for one person? It sure sucks to be that one person just sitting there while everyone else is opening gifts. The mind boggles.

I know that was a very long and pointless ramble about the awkwardness of gift giving but it was necessary! Of course we all should just be thankful that we get to spend time with all of our loved ones and that should always be the most important part but i'm just here to point out some of the funny moments that we have during the process of this loving time of the year.

New years is coming and my resolution for last year was to read 12 books that were not part of school and i read about 2... Man i feel pathetic, maybe i should just not make a resolution and then i'll just be surprised with what kind of year i've had. This year has been one crazy one and i'm very much glad that it's over and ready to start off on a fresh foot. With all the bad that i've had to deal with this year, there was a lot of good in between that too, and to be honest, that's just the way i like it. Come rain, come shine y'all. Happy New Years!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Timing isn't Everything

Hello again!

Since we last left off, our hero has been having a boring month only to find out there there was so much more in store for him!!! Ok, sorry i was reading comics a while ago and it just seemed right to go into the 3rd person. But hey, at least i'm not referring to myself as THE Allan. 11 Months and at least a blog for every month! I know January i didn't blog but i still have at least 11 posts and i've got to say i'm pretty proud of myself. It's very hard to just muster up the energy to blog about stuff even there is so much to say! I guess i just can't shut up sometimes.

Anywho, November has come and almost gone and it's amazing as i look back on how fast this year has gone by! This time last year i was freezing my but off in Europe and probably drinking some type of beer or taking some shot of vodka. My tolerance has seriously shot down. But that's good and bad in some ways for sure, but one thing i can say that i don't miss about Europe was that blasted snow!!! It was great the first day, horrible the next 2 months. One thing i do miss about Europe around this time was how close everything was and how the town of Aarhus was very much a college town and you could find everyone at a certain place at a certain time. Exchange student life was a very interesting one indeed. Ahh memories...

I'm really not sure what to say about this month. I'd like to say it has been very good to me, and that i look back and i can say i honestly smiled a lot, genuinely laughed a lot, cried a little (stupid football games). Things have been good and i think it really all has to do with the attitude you bring into an environment. You see these people in other countries that do less desirable jobs and get paid diddly squat and if they can smile, the least you can do at a job that pays decently and doesn't ask an incredible amount compared to these poor people. Granted, not a lot smile, but for them a hard day's work is something that some strive for. But who cares about WHY i'm in a good mood, just being in a good mood should be celebrated in itself.

But of course, a favorite saying of mine is "come rain, come shine", which if you've been reading my blog for a while now, knows that this means with all bad times, good ones are to follow. But it works both ways, and an unfortunate thing that i've been seeing how dishonesty can really ruin peoples lives. Trust seems to be a big issue that's been swirling in my life lately. Not me per se, but just people around me. I have trust issues sure, but that's for another blog. It's just unfortunate to see amazing people get lied to time and time again, and when push comes to shove there's nothing a person can do about it besides let them figure everything out themselves. Its just unfortunate to see things go in certain directions because of what another person does. It's been like 3-4 people in my life that just have been unlucky.

I was reading an interview with Nicky Manaj or whatever way you spell her name and she said something very interesting to people that think she's calling them out in her lyrics. "If you didn't do anything wrong, you shouldn't think the lyrics are directed at you". That's real talk right there i think. See, what shes trying to get at is that only people who find themselves being super defensive is if they have a reason to be defensive. It's all psychology i know, but when she dumbs it down like that even normal people like us can understand it. I think no matter who you are as a person, you shouldn't think words are directed at you unless you feel like you did something wrong. And if you think back to every time you feel offended or words have been pointed at you (even if they weren't meant to be) you feel a little guilty when they say them because you could be just as guilty as the person they're talking about. I know i've been like that plenty of times, people would say they hate brash, cocky, no it alls, and i think to myself, "hey, thats me!". I try not to let it bother me but i'm only human right?

This blog must be about interesting quotes i've heard in the past couple days because here comes another one! "A wise man once said it's better to be lucky than good, another one said its better to be both" SO TRUE! I've always been called the "lucky one", i don't know if that's even true, but if we've learned anything from the third paragraph of this post is that it's all how you look at it. I guess i was trying not to be selfish when it came to being lucky, but if you never put yourself in a position to be lucky you will never know how to handle a situation when the time comes. I did get the quote from football and they basically explained that a team was winning most of their games off of others mistakes but it took the skill of that team to capitalize on others mistakes, hence having luck and being good. I also read on a survey that people who consider themselves lucky have a different outlook on life that other people, something about noticing opportunities more than the person who considers themselves less lucky. I guess timing isn't everything haha.

But ALSO from what i've kinda realized today at lunch with an amazing friend is that its really not just luck when we talk about it in a romantic realm either. We were talking about meeting the right person, and how that "right" person could easily have met another person that was better than ourselves, but they happened to fall onto us. I see their point, it's the classic "how did HE get HER!?" example, the guy must have a lot of cash, or be super sensitive or have some type of mind control. I don't think so, like we talked about before, its LUCK for sure, but also being on the same page when it comes to holding a conversation and the right amount of attraction. I've got to think back about my past relationships and it's all been great luck with amazing girls, but horrible timing when it came to meeting them. We'd barely talk, i'd be too busy, or she'd be talking to another guy AND me at the same time, or she would be leaving for Austrailia the next morning. Things like that you can't explain. All you can do i guess is have a little faith that things will fall in place when the time comes. Lucky people can find amazing people and not know what to do with it, Good people can always have the right moves but never put them in a position to meet the right person.

It's really all interesting this crazy concept of finding "the one". I've been on this spree of thinking of theories and reason why some people do what they do, partly because it seems to settle the girls that i talk to down when they're confused on why guys think the way they think but its also funny seeing it in action with some people as well. They say i should write a book about it, but it'd probably be a boring book like this blog because all i do is ramble.

Lastly, ITS NOVEMBER! and it just wouldn't be right if i didn't say i was super excited about the christmas holidays!!! Thanksgiving is great and i get to play football and chow down on food, but its nothing compared to ice skating, walking in the park, warm weather clothes, christmas songs, presents and finding great gifts for people and LIGHTS LIGHTS LIGHTS! Gotta go see one of those guys that is a super rich engineer and just decks his house out with orchestrated music this year. Hopefully he does it again this year. Oh, and for thanksgiving, i would like to say i'm thankful for all the amazing people i've met with this year, the friends that i've connected with, the friends that are still around after dealing with all my bull and the parents that never raised me to only care about my happiness and never money. I hope i can instill that into my child that no matter what they do, they just work hard, and not care so much about the result but that you put your best into it. Lastly, i'm thankful for meeting a very special person this year, this person flipped my world around and it's thanks to her that this has been a very bearable year with all the amazingly bad things that have come my way. Thanks and eat a lot everyone!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Little Miss Beast Mode

Hello out there to my 5 or so readers,

So since my last blog, things have sorta slowed down and have become less hectic, but that might not be true at all since all i've really been doing with my life it seems is being stuck in the library. So instead of writing about me (for now atleast), i shall take a moment to talk about a friend of mine, her name is Stephanie "Beast Mode" Chan. Why her you ask? Because she told me to, and not a lot of girls can say "blog about me" and actually get me to do it, but Stephs a special one that girl...

Hm... I really don't know how we ended up getting to know each other, or even become so close of friends, it just kind of happened, as are most friendships i guess. My first memory of her was a nerdy looking girl with glasses who was always hanging out with another friend Lillian. Lillian and I went to middle school together so that's how i knew her. Steph never talked much, then I saw her at Fanime, which was super weird since i didn't think anyone at the high school even went to these kinds of things. She bought a kung fu panda shirt and then i would see her wear it at school. I had a thing about saying "NICE SHIRT" really loudly to people who i saw wear our shirts out in public. Sure, it was a little embarrassing but i didn't care, never did, never will.

Besides those encounters, I never really talked to her much, then came senior year. I just broke up with my girlfriend at the worst possible time! I was hanging out with one of my guy friends during lunch and i guess he hung out with Steph and her group?Prom season was here and i needed a date, i went with Stephanie. It was a pretty funny (and selfish i might add) story actually now that i think of it. We were all hanging out at the cafeteria and of course we were all asking each other who each other were going with. Steph and I had plans to go with other people, and i said, "Hey, if things dont work out, wanna be back-up dates?" Man, there's a lot of things i look back on and say to myself "Really allan?" But then again we all know how this story goes, Both Steph and I's plans dont work out and we end up going together. Which i guess now was more of a blessing in disguise. The rest is really history, Steph and I are close and I GUESS i could call her my top girl friend, i don't use the term BEST friend because my last best girlfriend broke my heart. In the bff kind of way of course.

Stephanie Chan is an amazing girl, and you gotta take her for her good and her bad. Her "bad" if i may add, is hilarious! Why do i call her Beast Mode you might ask? Is it because she gets super drunk and always has to rely on moi? Is it because she does pretty crazy things and says stupid things when shes drunk? Nope, it's just because shes still the same Stephanie Chan when she's drunk, just 10X that. A lot of people get drunk and do stupid things they wouldn't do if they were sober, and sure, steph's had that, but most of her best traits are just amplified when she drinks. BEAST MODE!!! I'd say i'm pretty protective of Steph, I guess everyone is sometimes with Steph, she's the "Baby" of the group after all. Oh well, her birthday is coming up and i guess it was a good way to look at "My Life with Stephanie Chan". There was a game show like that "This is Your Life" or something, i wish it was still on, what a crazy concept. Guess it wasnt very profitable. Anywho, enough about little miss beast mode.

I'd say this month has had a lot of ups and downs. But I'm a champ at ups and downs, the secret is to never let anything inflate or deflate your head. It's not so much optimism, more or less just not letting one dent in your huge life define who you are. If you ended up creating a cure for cancer, sure, that could be something that defines you, but a bad day where some crazy maniac coffee drink yells at you for no complete reason? It could definitely be worse. I think i'm great at forgiving quickly when things turn ugly, but forgetting... that's definitely not been my strong suit. It goes both ways really, when things are good, i savor the moment for a little bit, but i never forget when things really excite me. My ultimate goal in life is all about balance. How does one achieve that you might ask? Make sure i don't ever take advantage of the things that make me happy.

One of those things is Dukes. Dukes is an English Pub and I definitely look forward to it every Wednesday now that i think i've found my niche. A group of real guys, that just like talking about random stuff, sports, comics, girls, w/e. Being there makes me feel like i have a place i belong. Not to say being in other places have made me feel less at home, just this one feels a whole lot better. Maybe it's just the alcohol, maybe not. It's not perfect this Dukes, but its mine on Wednesdays, that i can say. It's not for a lot of my friends, and that's okay, but the friends that i have that do share those good times at dukes, its just amazing sometimes. Theres not a lot of people that can say they look forward to Wednesdays as much as i do. I'll miss it occasionally but that's life for you and you can't do anything about it, like i said before, you gotta take everything in stride.

Since i'm taking care of my brothers house i'm going to have to wake up early and walk the dog before heading to school, who knew dog-sitting could be so hard? I have enough on my hands and now i have to make sure not to leave the water bowl empty along with a whole list of things, i guess life is just not normal for me unless i have a crapload things to do. I need sleep, this blog was a long time coming, i'm glad Steph told me to blog.

Til next time kiddos.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

A Happy Place

It's that time again! Yessiree... time to rave and rant about my wonderful life.

I don't know what it is, but as of right now, i'm just in a happy place. I mean it, I might have one less friend than the last time i've blogged, or i might be sick but that won't keep me down because good vibes are just flowing in me right now. It might be because I'm starting to feel like i know what i'm going to do with my life after college and i've been taking big leaps to do what is needed to get me in the job i want. It might be because for the first time in a while i can see a goal that has ignited a light under me. Life is always better when you have goals, especially goals like this that have taken so god damn long to accomplish. School, we've gone through our entire lives of it to even hope to get to this point. I feel like i'm more fortunate than most, a lot of these opportunities just fall on my lap. Of course when they do fall, I don't think twice not to grab them for my own. But anyway, heres hoping the world doesn't end in 2012 because that would be the most ironic thing ever for students graduating in 2011. You spend your entire life in school only for a giant tidal wave or earthquake to take it away. What a delight.

These past couple weeks have come and gone so quickly! I started only to find out that i needed to start applying for jobs, joining clubs, getting ready for national exams and last but not least, getting a suit! Man oh man, i love getting suited! It's just a cool feeling knowing a little man (and yes he was little, like 5-2) is suiting you up and showing you things they think you'd look good in. It helps to have a friend come along and help you with the little things like ties and shirts, but the suit is what makes you feel powerful, respected, manly. Bottom line is it makes me feel like my life is going somewhere finally. Of course, suits aren't for everyone, and scientists and doctors don't need suits but i'm not one of them, and i need a suit! It sounds pretty shallow and materialistic but especially since i'm paying for the suit myself and blowing loads of hard-earned cash to look decent for these firms. I should at least be proud of what i'm wearing. I mean really now, a person who builds a house to live in would be proud of the house, a suit is no different.

Things are changing pretty quickly in my life, by November i could find out which firm or company i'll be working for, or by November i could be horribly stressed since no firms even thought to give me a shot. Hopefully i'm shooting for the first option. It's kinda scary to think these people hold the key to whether or not you move out of your parents house, move into a decent apartment and 1-2 bedroom apartment in the city with your very own bathroom and closet, and a place to put your brand new car keys... wait, i'm probably going on too much but it's the vision that i have, so sue me. Anyway, i'm just hoping they give me a shot, it's all i ask for, i know i can impress them with my personality, definitely not my paperwork. On paper i'm just another nguyen, another asian kid that is studying accounting, another number. But of course theres so much more, i'm definitely the only accounting student that's gone studying abroad, that's super difficult to do since you have such a tight schedule for everything, that's definitely a winner. I'm riding on my personality when i'll be talking to these firms because to be honest, that's all i got. We'll just have to see if that's enough.


What else is there to talk about? Oh right, i read on yahoo or some news thing and they talked about how we change our friends every 4 years or so on average. We just hang out with different people because around those 4 years or so, our jobs and lives change. People move, friends have falling outs, its just what happens. I guess statistics don't lie. Of course a couple years ago there was a 15% chance of me living, but i beat those odds! Doesn't look so lucky for these ones. I'm sure my best friends will always be there for me, i see them living their lives, and when the wedding comes, we'll all be hanging out by the patio like the ending scene in The Hangover. That was a pretty epic scene in my mind because that's kind of what i would want, without all the crazy (maybe). But to all the other people in my life, i can't say i see them in my future, i can honestly say if they disappeared, i wouldn't be too hurt, I'D BE HURT, but it wouldn't be a lasting feeling. It is this being cynical? Of course not, one thing i've learned in life, is that a person should never be cynical. One of my favorite quotes, which come from a man i only watched his ended show and a few episodes of because it was on, Conan O'Brian said this.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism -- for the record, it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

This is strong, deep, powerful, whatever you want to say, but it's like he was reading my mind and saying the words i could never put into. Life is good, and that's all that people should know. Not great, not even decent for a lot of people, but if you have the chance to look at all the great things you've done in life, and not let disappointments cloud your vision, its going to take you far... real far.

But like i said, even with all this pressure to succeed and all the mess that is life everything is A-OK, because you have to take the good with the bad, and maybe in some messed up world that my head is in right now, i'm in a happy place.

'til next time kids.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Ultimate Reliever of All Things Stressful

Today is a good day to blog. This past week has been pretty hectic, going here, going there, doing this and that. Sometimes it can get pretty draining, as much as i like going out, the other half of me likes to just sit back and relax, be one with my yin, or is it yang? Oh well, you get the point... Blogging helps me feel a lot more relaxed.

It also helps running 5 miles up and down hills to get your body in a state of relaxation. The run was awesome, theres that feeling of pain you get in the beginning or midway through the run to the top, but when you get to the top, its one of the best feelings ever. Not to mention the "runner's high" you get after. It's all really a combination. Lets walk through it...

You're starting out, kinda tense because you don't really want to stretch before you run because that's actually worse for you. (Don't know why? Google it) Then you start, you're trying to set a good pace for yourself, not to get to overexcited and burnout quick. Then the surrounded engulf you, trees for days, birds and deer and the occasional lizards everywhere, the smell of the trails, ahhhh nostalgia. Everything about running in those hills is amazing for me, even though i'm as slow as a snail now, i really want to get back into shape, i feel like i would enjoy it more now that i've learned to appreciate everything in nature and not just be so focused on running. Another great thing about running is how good you feel afterwards, i might feel a little tired, but it's as if one of my lungs just magically reappeared again! You can breath so much better and it sure does give you a feeling of more energy. All in all i will take all the cramps and pains for everything that running offers. Running is the ultimate reliever of all things stressful.

Now for something new: When a girl kisses a guy on the cheek, what does that mean? It's the ultimate misleader in my mind, does it mean the girl likes him but doesn't like him enough, or does it just mean the guy is sweet and you're too afraid to make the first move.... Ah the mind boggles, to think telling someone you like them would be so hard. Well of course it is! The thought that they might reject you could send you spiraling down into never confessing to someone ever again, a scary thought indeed.

A friend asks me... "Who do you hang out with?" That's a pretty good question i think... I tell him i hang out with this group, i talk with these people, i do this with that person... and he goes, "that's it?" That's it!? This coming from a guy who does nothing but hangs out with his girlfriend and before that nothing but his cousin. Thats it... Grr... That's kinda annoying, but what can you do. The second it goes on this blog i shall forget about it until i reread it again.

I was looking back at some of my 2008 entries and some of them are still pretty funny. My opinions about how women should put the seat up for guys instead of the other way around is definitely a questionable topic but a lot of it was just to get my mind off of things at the time. San Francisco can be a pretty lonely if you don't really know anyone. I hope it's not going to be like that when i move out again after i graduate.

Around this time last year, i was in Denmark. I was getting to meet all these new people, see all these new things. Time sure does fly. I wonder if how many people actually missed me, how many people would miss me if i left somewhere far for a job or something. The group i hang out with is going through a lot of changes, lots of people leaving, lots of things changing, there are times when we mention one of our friends, mainly to bash on him, but we miss him, and everyone else that left. I just hope its the same if i ever go.

Tomorrow will be another day, I hope it will be just as fulfilling as its felt like today. Til next time kids!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Fastest Way to a Guy's Heart....

So i have writer's block. More or less. I feel more lazy than anything. I just don't want to write about history of Korea and what people do there! I mean all and all it's an interesting topic, but i feel more at ease when i'm taking an opinion on something. You can't take opinions on facts. 1+1=2 is not very interesting to write about. So here i am, going to blog just so i can get my mind off of my assignment and prolong what i have to do that's going to be due in a couple days. That's fine by me, i could probably bust it out all monday since i have no work or school, but that seems pretty stressful. And since i'm not doing anything better with my life at the moment, i SHOULD take the initiative and bust this essay out.

Maybe it's just me, but i find reading letters and emails are WAY more interesting to read that when you're merely just talking to them online or through FB or what have you. Maybe its because you stop for a second and just focus on reading that letter or the email. Sure, there are times when you're distracted from reading it and if the email is long enough you have to stop and take a break. But most of the time, in my head i cherish it more just because someone took the time to write it to me. I hate mass emails, that kills the personal effect of the email and just seems like another post on FB. To have a REAL connection with someone, whether that just be a minor one or a huge one, messages between just two people just hit a different chord in my book. I guess you can compare it to getting a birthday greeting now a days on FB to getting an actual card from someone.

While we're on the topic of things that give me that oh so warm feeling inside, we should talk about food. I love food, i guess i would have to blame my love of food for the reason i have to compulsively have to work out everyday, which i haven't been and now i feel like im carrying a rock with me everytime i take a step now. I look back at all the horrible things we as kids used to stick down our throats without a second thought. It scares me to remember me eating 2 boxes of cheese sticks during lunch and not feel a thing. If i would have done that today i would be stuck in the bathroom for days. I guess you could say my palette has grown a little stronger and i have a love for foods that excite my taste buds. Which brings me to the question.

If the fastest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach why is there a more and more increasing number of girls who don't know how to cook?

Wouldn't you think that is the first things girls would learn if they wanted to impress a guy? When it comes down to it, guys will look at a girl and sure "rate" them and what not, but after all that looking the guy actually might want to get to know a girl, and when they find out that they don't really know how to do anything, theres got to be something wrong here. Now guys are learning to cook and be sensitive to girls feelings, but girls now a days are just becoming lazy. As guys we really don't need much, but it's a shame that so many girls, feel like they aren't "good enough" to learn how to cook. Cooking is almost never something you are gifted with, it's something you learn, everyone fell off the bike at one point, it's time they start learning how to cook some Risotto! (which is one of my favorite side dishes) Okay Okay that MIGHT have sounded a bit sexist, but in all honesty, guys are trying their best to understand you guys as well, trying to get in your world, and you see where that's failed us, we become that "friend" that guy that knows how to cook a mean salmon, or can go shopping with us, but when it comes down to it girls really do enjoy a Guy's Guy. Not some fruffy metro dude that cares more about his hair than what you had to say to him that day. FACE IT, its the truth and it works both ways with a guy.

Well that's enough for me to keep moving on with my writing. My old teacher was write about this write about other things if you can't write about what you're suppose to thing. Now lets hope i'm not blogging in a couple hours again >_<. LATER!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Listerine BEFORE you brush!

So wow, i said i would blog around the end of june but it ended up being the middle of july! Ouch.. a whole month, well i was busy with everything that i mentioned (birthdays, school, work, the works)... and i'm really glad the month of june is over. Just a bunch of crazy projects that i am glad i have under my belt.

Anyway, i wake up this morning feeling pretty awesome, being that I've had food poisoning for the past 2 days i think today is going to be a relatively better one. Seafood is definitely not something i'm going to want to crave eating for a while, even though yesterday i ate sushi lol. So i go into the bathroom and start to do my usual morning stuff and i think to myself "why is it that i brush my teeth then use the Listerine when i clearly don't like to use Listerine so maybe i'll just do that first then brush my teeth?" GENIUS! But of course theres probably some rule in the directions about using mouth wash after you brush your teeth but i'm just going to ignore it and think it's better to do it early than never do it at all.

The month of July has been pretty good for me. It's been surprisingly good for me actually. It starts out with me having those major projects and finals due at the end of june, my group and i did so well that we ended up getting almost 20% extra bump up from my final grade because we just put in a little extra effort. Of course during that whole month i was stressed out like crazy, but it was good to know hard work doesnt come off unnoticed.

I don't know what it is, but surrounding yourself with people with positive energy makes me feel so much better than people who are stressed or have internal struggles.
Yeah yeah, that's obvious, but the next time you get a chance to notice yourself TRULY laugh and enjoy everyones company, take a second to look at who you're with. One of those days happened a couple weeks ago, it was just me and a couple friends, we went out to Mogo's some taco truck place, I don't even remember what we were talking about really, just stuff that happened that weekend, we were all laughing and joking around, just good energy. The end of that day was nice too, got to hang out with someone who just seems to surprise me more and more.


Work is work, I enjoy it, but there are going to be a lot of changes pretty soon since our manager is leaving =[. Going to another store since he did so well at ours. I've got to say i'm really happy they have me a chance at this starbucks. I really get a long well with everyone there and all the customers. It's just a good environment for me to be in while still making money haha.

If you read the blog post before, i said i would be working on trying to be nicer to people or atleast use my words better to not sound so mean i guess. I don't know if it's working or if people think i'm just constantly sad or silent. I don't get it, People will criticize me when i talk, but then when i don't talk they think theres something wrong with me. There's got to be a better way to see how I am than just judge me by how much my mouth moves. Ah, oh well, what can you do...

Went to SF the other day, that was the 2nd time in two weeks of nonschool related activities. Definitely enjoyable on both ends, In these 2 days i've probably only explored 3 parts of the city! of course there are some not so nice areas but still plenty of amazing ones! All in All, this month has been great, hopefully this food poisoning is karma's way of telling me that there are more good things to come, because there has to be a balance of good and bad. Anywho, lets let you kids off for today, I had actual topics to write about but since i haven't filled you in with my life for the past month i'll just do it next week (hopefully)...

Late!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Cinnabon is the Devil

So i figured i'd just post my birthday list here since there are only a handful of people that actually read this thing, and those same people are the only ones that probably even want to get me a gift for my birthday. It's okay if you don't, it'd make me happy to just have a beer with you at the dukes on wednesday but here goes:
1. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, I heard this book is pretty crazy to read. And if i ever get a chance to read for pleasure again, maybe i should pick this up.
2. Training Gear - Like a reflex ball or a water bottle that is super cheap. Its plastic/rubber? looking and has a wide mouth for ice and can be squeezed like you see basketball players have for their gatorade that would be cool.
3.Ties are always acceptable, any will do as long as it has some type of pattern, i saw this polka dot one that looked pretty awesome, just don't really know if i could rock it. But if you do get it i'd prolly just buy something to make it work. lol.
4. A card that is handmade gets way more points than a card that is just bought, but i can understand the difficulty of card getting and a card is a card nonetheless which i really do appriciate a lot. Oh and gift cards are totally cool! Gives me an excuse to go get something from whereever you want me to go. Just not Starbucks or Jamba please, that's really just screaming out you don't talk to me. Lol.
Well, thats all i'm going to put because i doubt theres going to be anymore than 4 people who would even consider getting me a gift. On with the real blog...

So i log onto my blog and it tells me that the template to my blog sucks and needs redecorating. Sadly enough, i do it. It was pretty fun though to be honest. I got that new gadget sitting on top of my blog now and you could play with that if you're ever so inclined. Just click and it'll put food in the imaginary water and the fish will swim and eat it. The fish will also follow your mouse so that's going to be distracting if you're actually trying to read my blog.

I'm not really too sure what to blog about today so i'll try to keep it short. I've been writing a lot in my little pocket journal thing. It comes in handy when i just want to express my views on things without it killing me the entire day. One example is when i'm in class and this chubby asian kid is breathing extremely loud. Sure he's probably breathing pretty loud because hes chubs but i can't stop hearing it and thinking "Damn, really?!" I mean i know some big dudes and they dont breath like him. Of course when we were all talking about our eating habits, it makes a hell of a lot more sense why he's the way he is because of what goes into his body than my guy friends. Note to self: Never eat Cinnabon ever again (though i don't ever really eating it all myself). 5000 Calories! That's 2.5 days worth of calories that you could've spent better. Anyway that doesn't bother me as much as the same unhealthy people in the class talking about eating right when they're overweight themselves. Isn't that just contradicting? We as people are never in a position to judge other people, yet we still do it. It's just normal i guess. I just hope me laughing at the ridiculousness of the matter is a more respectable way to judge people than being downright rude to them.

Okay, let's all say it: Allan, you're pretty mean. Yes, I am. Its kind of disheartening for me. My boss calls it "tough love". He felt belittled because i call him out on a lot of things because i like things done a certain way at work, and when they're not i tell him as more of an equal than a boss. When i say these things to him I can be pretty mean because i throw in my sarcastic dry humor. I guess my dry humor can be pretty mean if you take it the wrong way, which people have been known to do. Maybe it's my tone, I really just say it to be laugh with you, not laugh at you. What can you do about it... is what i would say. BUT i'm definitely trying to watch what i say around others, but it's a process and it's not just going to happen overnight. One hope is that i can still keep that wittiness that i oh so enjoy with others but just find a better means of using it i guess.

That's all for now kids, probably wont blog again until maybe the end of June due to birthdays, projects, essays, the works.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Month of May

Wow, i can't believe the last time i blogged was a month ago! Shame allan, Shameeee...

I try to keep this thing going atleast twice a week, for good measure that my head doesnt explode with things i wish i would have put on this blog. I'm getting better with it though, i'm getting a mini-journal i guess you could call it. I guess the "correct" term for it is a journalist notebook. Looks like one of those things that Lois Lane would carry before DC had her carry a recorder. Hopefully it comes in handy, it'll fit in my back pocket and ill hopefully jot down things like "blog notes: 'i wonder why people are so impatient(i.e random person at starbucks)" or whatever. I know people will think, "Allan, why don't you just write it down on your phone or w/e since you have a notepad on it?" Been there, tried it, doesn't work as well, when you have so much information on your phone, its hard to just sit down and see what you've written down for the day. Life can be so complex, goes to show why people living simpler lives are happier than those who aren't.

It's not really surprising, but i can never seem to go to the gym in the summer. It's horrible, the best time to lose weight and get in better shape, and i hate it. I enjoy sweating when i'm active, i HATE sweating when i'm just sitting around trying to enjoy my afternoon reading comics. I will try to keep up my regular gym routine of 5-6 days a week, but it just seems incredibly difficult when you wake up all sweaty. The month of may when it came to gym time has been all about swimming. Lets make this clear, I suck at swimming. With that in mind, i can: float and swim, i can't: do a butterfly for crap, hold my breath very long it seems, and swim more than 2 laps of freestyle (total of 100 meters) without having to rest. It probably has to do with my form. I go to the gym and i see these guys swim with incredible form, i on the other hand probably look like im just flapping my arms all over the place. But i enjoy it, it beats running on the treadmill, or doing the stairmaster. I have been a little lazy with my weight lifting because i think to myself, i'm going to be swimming anyway, so i think ill just take it easy. I'll break that train of thought soon enough.

The other theme of this month of may other than swimming has been "The Flaws of Allan Nguyen, Narrated by Everyone He Knows." It really all came in waves i guess, if we made a timeline it would be BF, before finals, and AF, after finals. Surprisingly finals was the only thing that kept me from feeling like complete crap, and of course swimming. I feel like a good person, and i think i make the right decisions in life, but sometimes with the things people say to me, it seems like they only put up with my crap. Yes, i can be a little eccentric when it comes to some things, but isn't it better to just be upfront about things and not let them bottle up inside? What's disgusted me the most of this month is how little people know me, i can take a hint, hell, i don't even need a hint, i can see it in your eyes, i can hear it in your voice. Everyone has patterns, everyone has little things they do when they're happy, and yes, sad. Not saying I'm Sherlock Holmes when it comes to seeing things, but its just disappointing seeing the change in a person when they've given up on somethings or some people.

"Never become cynical, nothing good comes from a person who is cynical, live life by working hard and being kind and it will take you places my friend."

It sure is easier to just be a jerk, but you sure can sleep better knowing you're fighting for the good guys.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Easy Come, Easy Go...

...is probably what i'm feeling right now. We'll i guess if we were to change this it would be "Hard come, Hard go" because I just came from playing tennis and it seems like all of it is still there, but of course this is not a blog about tennis. If this were a blog about tennis, there probably wouldn't be much to talk about since i know diddly squat. Well, while we're on the topic i might as well... lol...

Tennis is a funny sport. Scoring is funny, clothes are funny, everything about it just screams someone was probably high or really bored when they made this game. Small ball that bounces, Huge racket that hits, Net that is in the way. I bet it was pretty cool playing tennis in Khakis and white polos, Very Photogenic. But besides that the sport is still pretty silly, with girls needing their outfits to match their rackets, and the need for spandex. Players who grow up in tennis and actually win more than a couple games here and there have a superiority complex and always have to show someone else up. Its a sport based on your own mental well being. There is no one to rely on when you're in a match because no one is allowed to coach you. You can't blame them for having this kind of attitude, you have to have it if you want to win. People say you can be nice and courteous but thats only if you are too good for them to say something, or you just like being pushed around. In a sport where your opponent has the power to call a point in or out, you can't just assume everyones going to be honest. Oh well, what can you do... Football > Tennis. Period.

A solid question that has been on my mind for maybe the past quarter is that what happens when you're with a person, and you want them to change. Whether its for the better or just because you have a preference that you'd prefer they start becoming. And say, they do change, EXACTLY how you want them to. But you realize that by doing that you lost what you liked in them in the first place. Well, for example, You want your girlfriend to be more outgoing, you wish she tried a little harder to be more open, and after time, she does, shes always going out, always speaking her mind, and you fail to even recognize that shy, quiet girl that you once met hanging out with friends. If things are going to change they will eventually, its inevitable, forcing it to change never seems to be a good idea to me. We could go extreme and say some dude is a drug addict and you're there to change him because you see potential, but then again. Once he's clean, you're probably going to get bored because you saw that being a druggie was apart of who he was, haha, and thats what got you wanting to help him in the first place. I guess you just have to get lucky.

There are a lot of things i want that i can't have. One of these things is that i wish i cared less haha. "Superman" is something someone calls me a lot and how i can't be that person all the time, because even he needs to be Clark Kent sometimes. I guess i like helping people, maybe its something that proves I'm here, not just another person, maybe its to make amends for all the bad i did in the past, which in retrospect aren't as bad as i thought, but still kind of bad. People don't just help because of the goodness in their heart, theres always a reason, doing it to make yourself feel good is definitely a reason. Moral obligation is a solid one too. The problem with being a good problem solver is that thats all i seem to be. Once the problem is solved, i'm horrible with just keeping things all nice and dandy. I would definitely prefer life without problems, but it seems like the people in my life disappear as soon as the problem is fixed. Without the Joker, there is no Batman. Just some masked dude beating up random hoodlums on the street. That's not very Super. Do i feel like i've been taken advantage of sometimes? Sure... But it's not to say i shouldn't bother helping others still. Just because someone can't save Superman from a falling piece of skyscraper doesn't mean he shouldn't return the favor haha. Ok less comic book talk, I just couldn't think of any solid examples at the time.

We'll thats all for today, until next time kids...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Farewell Old Friend

It starts out as nothing more than a meeting between two kids. They're only 4-5 and live close to each other. Their parents are both Vietnamese so they both talk. Their kids are the same age, so the kids become friends.

That's how we started out, sorta. In my mind you were my first real friend when i went into Kindergarden. I could honestly say you were probably my first crush, being that i didn't know what love was besides the nicest girl to me. You weren't always the nicest person to me, but you had your moments. I remember back in elementry school i would get angry that you thought this boy was cool because he was so fast in PE that i ended up just wanting to be nothing more than fast like him. Maybe that would impress you. I guess you could say i started running because of you. I remember holding my lunch tray and saying hi to you while you sat with all your cool girlfriends. You'd laugh at me and i'd go eat with the boys. Time passed and you went away, i didn't really mind i guess, we didn't really understand what a connection was between people at that age anyway.

I hadn't really changed much when i came into middle school, still immature, more immature than my age should've allowed. I didn't understand what it meant to show respect to elders, i didn't understand when people looked at you for doing something stupid, all i was into was pokemon and playing.

...and there you were, standing there with all the other 6th graders, i was pretty nervous and happy at the same time. I didn't like you anymore of course but it was nice to maybe have another friend now that i'm here. I came by to say hi like an idiot, not remembering that talking to me embarassed you infront of your friends. I was that weird kid that had the cool best friend, the geeky kid who always said what was on his mind and didn't think it was weird at all. It was ok, i almost saw it coming but i can't say it didn't hurt. Eventually we became friends, after i calmed down a little, didn't talk to you too much infront of our big asian group, it helped that you went out with one of my guy friends. Things were good, We went through the end of middle school on good terms.

You broke up with my friend in High School... Only to get together with a friend that would soon be more important to me than some would ever know. I was happy that you two got together, not only did i get close with him, but i got even closer to you. Having a best guy friend and a best girl friend? What more could have you asked for? Of course, the thing about hanging out with a person a lot is that you can easily see their flaws, and also the little things that annoy you. We'd have arguements, big enough that you'd ignore me for an entire year and half. It made me sad to think that all that time put into our friendship could be ruined with a couple things here and there. But we were both stubborn and that's how it goes.

College came and the awkwardness of sharing a guy as boyfriend and bestfriend finally had to be broken. We made our apoligies and just tried to make everything good again. That was good, college made me realize that after high school, you don't see everyone everyday, you don't happen to meet people, you have to make an effort, and that's what we did. We became extremely close again, I was happy to know that i had someone to talk to that would just listen, put in a couple words heere and there but just genuinely hear me out and not just want to put in their two cents. There were some weird moments, like when the boyfriend didn't like it was we were getting too close. That little spat didn't last long. There was nothing more than a good friendship there. I could honestly call you my best girl friend.

I left for europe, and came back not changed, just a little more different. We both had our schedules to keep up with, both had our obligations. We were in the process of growing up, it couldn't be helped. And then you went away...

I can't say i wasn't hurt, I can't say im still not hurt. I miss you as a friend incredibly. Things always happen for a reason, and if it is going to take a couple years to run into each other again, or even more, these memories will not go away, these happy times, along with the difficult times, will not be forgotten, You were my oldest friend, i will not forget that. I'm only saying goodbye for now, in hope that we see each other again some other time, when we've both grown and can laugh again. That would be nice. Even though things may never be the same, they don't need to be, because people change, things change, circumstances change. I could never hate a person that has made such an impact on my life. You can despise the things people do, but you should never hate them for it.

I can't really say what we're in for in the future for now this is farewell...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Smokes

Chad: Allan, you want a smoke?
Allan: Nah, I really REALLY hate cigarettes, only reason i sit here is cuz we play poker haha.
Chad: How old are you man?
Allan:19
Chad: I'll ask you again when you're 24, I was just like you at that age, you'll see...

I still hate cigarettes, I still hope i never smoke, but then again, i'm only 21 now. I guess i'll have to wait 2-3 more years before i can really see what he saw, things hes witnessed, reasons we give ourselves to light that little death in a packet of Marlboros. I've felt like this week was one of those weeks, those testing weeks, those weeks that i have thought back to this conversation, and wonder, "is this what he was talking about?"

With all things said and done, right now all i want to think about is how crappy the month of March was. I guess somethings went my way, i've got some questions that i've been asking myself answered, but in exchange i've got only a crap load more. Oh well, it doesn't hurt to be curious does it? I think i've heard something about a cat. Oh well, i'll let future allan think about that one.

I'm starting to question my beliefs, whether i'm living my life correctly. I mean people who think they are crazy aren't crazy, but people who 'think they're crazy are. So wouldn't it be the same with people who live their life normally? I could think i'm a great person, a great friend, just all-around great. But in reality, i could be making everyone miserable. I could be thinking i'm making all the right decisions, but instead i could be handling everything horribly wrong. So heres, an example, if i really want something, i can be pretty convincing, and if i can't think of the things to say, i can think of the things to do to get my way. Isn't that being manipulative? I mean i pushed the right buttons and i get my way, I don't think that makes a good person. Because if i deserved it, i could've just got it without even trying.

In other news, i got some pretty flattering news, haha, i guess i can't really say what was said, but whatever was said made me feel like, "wow if you said that, there might be hope for me yet!" haha... =D It's just these little things that let me keep my head high.

I'm trying to pick up photography, i'm not gonna go crazy or anything, just a hobby that i figured would help me get off my ass and maybe even learn a few things and see a few things a long the way. Here are a few of my favorite photos so far. NO i will not get a tumbler, it just seems too nice for me, and i'm not that artistic.



Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Ramble Schamble

Since when was blogging something someone forced onto you? Sure, i guess there are those professional bloggers out there but i'm just a normal joe who likes to just keep the voices outta my head by putting it on a random website. I'd probably not be above making a twitter but then again i'm just too lazy to be logging on and making an account. I waste enough of my time on facebook.

Anywho, i've been talking to a bunch of friends lately who want to start working out. I'm not against working out, but a lot of people have been complaining about finding a reason to. What reason do you really need besides it just feels good to be in shape? I've always been one to love the feeling of sweat. It doesnt hurt working out to perform well in other things either. I'm just hoping when football season comes again and i have to play i'll be extra fast with all these liners and box jumps i've been doing. But anyway, seriously, just put on your running shoes, and once you've done that, you just go work out. It's that simple, if you can put on your shoes, you can go to the gym. Nuff Said.

So i'm talking to a friend and she told me she asks her boyfriend a question, first of all, when you're asking your boyfriend questions, make sure the questions doesnt make him the least bit insecure please. "What would you do if you happened to become friends with a person who connects with you even more so than me? It's not like shes seducing you or anything, you just talk to her extremely well and even better than me. What would you think about that?" Its great that these two are perfect for each other, and that they can totally talk to each other because they've been together so long, but wow, thats just a question that spells disaster haha...I don't really know how to answer this question, if she was the girl of my dreams, would i really want her? I'm picky with the girls i fall for, and i think if i found her, would i really want it? As we grow we end up wanting different things, im such a pessimist sometimes, the moment i meet a person i MIGHT actually fall for, i try to pick her apart. Geez what's wrong with me?

I'm a huge hypocrite, huggggggeeee hypocrite... I don't know how much i put this on my blog, maybe i just like irony, maybe i just like to laugh at random things. But what i laugh at now is girls who put these quotes on their facebook, twitter, w/e... they say things like "THIS TOTALLY SPEAKS TO ME" but in actuality, I think you're just shallow and think this girl is easy on the eyes, and that what shes really saying only speaks to you because of that. Eh, if that's what it takes, go for it haha...

The last thing on my mind probably has been something on my brain for the past month... I consider myself someone who is easy to talk to. Why you might ask? Well, i would tell you i hold my heart on my sleeve, i would also tell you that i will always be honest with a question that someone throws at me. But thats the problem, because i hold my heart on my sleeve, people just take what they think i say as everything that i think about, or that even though i answer every question of theirs i'm being completely honest with them or myself. That is definitely false, i think about a lot of things, mainly random thoughts like "do you ever wonder if every god out there is just the same person? or maybe there are different gods and they all live together. reigning on different parts of the world, kind of like risk, but with religion" haha yeah i know random... i guess the other thing is when people ask me questions i try my best to answer the question honestly. I never said i wouldnt beat around the bush or try and change the subject. I guess the only reason i'm talking about this is because i think i hate the feeling of being vulnerable... but then i heard a pretty cool quote on TV today. "Its not about the pain, its about being open, if you can be that vulnerable with another person, it changes you... Well we'll just have to see about this quote... House what a great show! lol...

Until later kiddies...

Friday, February 19, 2010

Back... but not really...

So back to this blog business... i regret not keeping it up during the study abroad but it went by so fast that i could barely jot my thoughts down before i realized i was already back. It seems so long ago that i was sitting in my room in Denmark, isolated from the world that i am apart of once again. I enjoyed the thought that i could wake up and drink some coffee, plain, black coffee, and read or possibly cook myself some breakfast. Everything moves so much faster here in the US. I guess i was apart of that life style until i got shoved into Europe. I miss it in someways... Hell, that's a lie, i miss it in A LOT of ways. The quietness of life when you're a person who doesn't understand a lick of Danish, or German, or Italian... It was great to feel alive, to be somewhere where you know if you don't do something now, that you'll never get to do it ever again. Haha, it's funny that i'm thinking about it now, i've been saving it to tell it to someone for a long time, but it's just not an experience you can really share with someone unless they've done the same. I had dinner with Donna the other day, we practically shared most of our study abroad experience together, through thick and thin i guess. It was a shocker just chillin with her, talking about how life has been after we got back. We both kinda agreed we were in some type of "funk". Nothing that would stop us from being ourselves, its just something that we felt that was missing. I try to think to myself "I cant think this like, i cant go back and do it again, its an experience that you've had and you can't dwell on it, go on and live". So far, it's been alright i'd say about 90% of the time. Work, School, Social gatherings have helped eased me back into the swing of things.

I've made some new friends, or i guess a new friend, not to say i've replaced my old ones, its just, everyone else seems so busy, and these new people just seem to have the same schedule as me. I keep thinking where the hell are my best friends at, all up in northern california, doing school of course, but i've been back for like 2 months now! eh, and again that's another reason why i've been hanging out with these new friends.

I'm thinking i wanna go somewhere, nothing particularly far i guess, just somewhere, somewhere new, maybe somewhere within a 2-3 hour drive. I wanna just get away... Theres nothing wrong with monotony, cuz hey, i wanna be a accountant. But theres always gotta be that something to spice your life up just a little and since my love life is alive as michael jackson, why not just find another reason. I've had this stupid beatles song stuck in my head for the past 4-5 hours... If I Fell.... WHYYYYY MUST YOU HAUNT ME SO SONGGGGG.... I really should be getting to bed, got work at 5am... of course when you stay up til 230 am the day before i doubt my body's gonna just naturally go to sleep. Maybe i should just stay up, of course, i normally like staying up if theres someone to stay up with, i doubt thats gonna happen. "Oh hey, wanna stay up with me til 5am? I know, i know its 1040pm right now and you're prolly gonna go to sleep soon but i figure why not give it a shot?" yeah.. thats not gonna fly. I was telling a friend how i normally write these kind of blogs on a really really good day, or a really really bad day, well... today was definitely not a really really good day haha... I feel stuck, gonna need some help here.