Sunday, April 4, 2010

Farewell Old Friend

It starts out as nothing more than a meeting between two kids. They're only 4-5 and live close to each other. Their parents are both Vietnamese so they both talk. Their kids are the same age, so the kids become friends.

That's how we started out, sorta. In my mind you were my first real friend when i went into Kindergarden. I could honestly say you were probably my first crush, being that i didn't know what love was besides the nicest girl to me. You weren't always the nicest person to me, but you had your moments. I remember back in elementry school i would get angry that you thought this boy was cool because he was so fast in PE that i ended up just wanting to be nothing more than fast like him. Maybe that would impress you. I guess you could say i started running because of you. I remember holding my lunch tray and saying hi to you while you sat with all your cool girlfriends. You'd laugh at me and i'd go eat with the boys. Time passed and you went away, i didn't really mind i guess, we didn't really understand what a connection was between people at that age anyway.

I hadn't really changed much when i came into middle school, still immature, more immature than my age should've allowed. I didn't understand what it meant to show respect to elders, i didn't understand when people looked at you for doing something stupid, all i was into was pokemon and playing.

...and there you were, standing there with all the other 6th graders, i was pretty nervous and happy at the same time. I didn't like you anymore of course but it was nice to maybe have another friend now that i'm here. I came by to say hi like an idiot, not remembering that talking to me embarassed you infront of your friends. I was that weird kid that had the cool best friend, the geeky kid who always said what was on his mind and didn't think it was weird at all. It was ok, i almost saw it coming but i can't say it didn't hurt. Eventually we became friends, after i calmed down a little, didn't talk to you too much infront of our big asian group, it helped that you went out with one of my guy friends. Things were good, We went through the end of middle school on good terms.

You broke up with my friend in High School... Only to get together with a friend that would soon be more important to me than some would ever know. I was happy that you two got together, not only did i get close with him, but i got even closer to you. Having a best guy friend and a best girl friend? What more could have you asked for? Of course, the thing about hanging out with a person a lot is that you can easily see their flaws, and also the little things that annoy you. We'd have arguements, big enough that you'd ignore me for an entire year and half. It made me sad to think that all that time put into our friendship could be ruined with a couple things here and there. But we were both stubborn and that's how it goes.

College came and the awkwardness of sharing a guy as boyfriend and bestfriend finally had to be broken. We made our apoligies and just tried to make everything good again. That was good, college made me realize that after high school, you don't see everyone everyday, you don't happen to meet people, you have to make an effort, and that's what we did. We became extremely close again, I was happy to know that i had someone to talk to that would just listen, put in a couple words heere and there but just genuinely hear me out and not just want to put in their two cents. There were some weird moments, like when the boyfriend didn't like it was we were getting too close. That little spat didn't last long. There was nothing more than a good friendship there. I could honestly call you my best girl friend.

I left for europe, and came back not changed, just a little more different. We both had our schedules to keep up with, both had our obligations. We were in the process of growing up, it couldn't be helped. And then you went away...

I can't say i wasn't hurt, I can't say im still not hurt. I miss you as a friend incredibly. Things always happen for a reason, and if it is going to take a couple years to run into each other again, or even more, these memories will not go away, these happy times, along with the difficult times, will not be forgotten, You were my oldest friend, i will not forget that. I'm only saying goodbye for now, in hope that we see each other again some other time, when we've both grown and can laugh again. That would be nice. Even though things may never be the same, they don't need to be, because people change, things change, circumstances change. I could never hate a person that has made such an impact on my life. You can despise the things people do, but you should never hate them for it.

I can't really say what we're in for in the future for now this is farewell...

1 comment:

bina said...

you are a really good person/friend & you deserve ones who appreciate you in return. you'll recognize who those are when friendships become effortless. it's hard, considering "we" are the ones who give and give so much, only to receive so little (or betrayal in this case) in return. but you know, in the end it just makes you a good person and you learn more of what it takes to be a better friend. stay strong buddy <3