A Happy Place

It's that time again! Yessiree... time to rave and rant about my wonderful life.

I don't know what it is, but as of right now, i'm just in a happy place. I mean it, I might have one less friend than the last time i've blogged, or i might be sick but that won't keep me down because good vibes are just flowing in me right now. It might be because I'm starting to feel like i know what i'm going to do with my life after college and i've been taking big leaps to do what is needed to get me in the job i want. It might be because for the first time in a while i can see a goal that has ignited a light under me. Life is always better when you have goals, especially goals like this that have taken so god damn long to accomplish. School, we've gone through our entire lives of it to even hope to get to this point. I feel like i'm more fortunate than most, a lot of these opportunities just fall on my lap. Of course when they do fall, I don't think twice not to grab them for my own. But anyway, heres hoping the world doesn't end in 2012 because that would be the most ironic thing ever for students graduating in 2011. You spend your entire life in school only for a giant tidal wave or earthquake to take it away. What a delight.

These past couple weeks have come and gone so quickly! I started only to find out that i needed to start applying for jobs, joining clubs, getting ready for national exams and last but not least, getting a suit! Man oh man, i love getting suited! It's just a cool feeling knowing a little man (and yes he was little, like 5-2) is suiting you up and showing you things they think you'd look good in. It helps to have a friend come along and help you with the little things like ties and shirts, but the suit is what makes you feel powerful, respected, manly. Bottom line is it makes me feel like my life is going somewhere finally. Of course, suits aren't for everyone, and scientists and doctors don't need suits but i'm not one of them, and i need a suit! It sounds pretty shallow and materialistic but especially since i'm paying for the suit myself and blowing loads of hard-earned cash to look decent for these firms. I should at least be proud of what i'm wearing. I mean really now, a person who builds a house to live in would be proud of the house, a suit is no different.

Things are changing pretty quickly in my life, by November i could find out which firm or company i'll be working for, or by November i could be horribly stressed since no firms even thought to give me a shot. Hopefully i'm shooting for the first option. It's kinda scary to think these people hold the key to whether or not you move out of your parents house, move into a decent apartment and 1-2 bedroom apartment in the city with your very own bathroom and closet, and a place to put your brand new car keys... wait, i'm probably going on too much but it's the vision that i have, so sue me. Anyway, i'm just hoping they give me a shot, it's all i ask for, i know i can impress them with my personality, definitely not my paperwork. On paper i'm just another nguyen, another asian kid that is studying accounting, another number. But of course theres so much more, i'm definitely the only accounting student that's gone studying abroad, that's super difficult to do since you have such a tight schedule for everything, that's definitely a winner. I'm riding on my personality when i'll be talking to these firms because to be honest, that's all i got. We'll just have to see if that's enough.


What else is there to talk about? Oh right, i read on yahoo or some news thing and they talked about how we change our friends every 4 years or so on average. We just hang out with different people because around those 4 years or so, our jobs and lives change. People move, friends have falling outs, its just what happens. I guess statistics don't lie. Of course a couple years ago there was a 15% chance of me living, but i beat those odds! Doesn't look so lucky for these ones. I'm sure my best friends will always be there for me, i see them living their lives, and when the wedding comes, we'll all be hanging out by the patio like the ending scene in The Hangover. That was a pretty epic scene in my mind because that's kind of what i would want, without all the crazy (maybe). But to all the other people in my life, i can't say i see them in my future, i can honestly say if they disappeared, i wouldn't be too hurt, I'D BE HURT, but it wouldn't be a lasting feeling. It is this being cynical? Of course not, one thing i've learned in life, is that a person should never be cynical. One of my favorite quotes, which come from a man i only watched his ended show and a few episodes of because it was on, Conan O'Brian said this.

"Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism -- for the record, it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

This is strong, deep, powerful, whatever you want to say, but it's like he was reading my mind and saying the words i could never put into. Life is good, and that's all that people should know. Not great, not even decent for a lot of people, but if you have the chance to look at all the great things you've done in life, and not let disappointments cloud your vision, its going to take you far... real far.

But like i said, even with all this pressure to succeed and all the mess that is life everything is A-OK, because you have to take the good with the bad, and maybe in some messed up world that my head is in right now, i'm in a happy place.

'til next time kids.

The Ultimate Reliever of All Things Stressful

Today is a good day to blog. This past week has been pretty hectic, going here, going there, doing this and that. Sometimes it can get pretty draining, as much as i like going out, the other half of me likes to just sit back and relax, be one with my yin, or is it yang? Oh well, you get the point... Blogging helps me feel a lot more relaxed.

It also helps running 5 miles up and down hills to get your body in a state of relaxation. The run was awesome, theres that feeling of pain you get in the beginning or midway through the run to the top, but when you get to the top, its one of the best feelings ever. Not to mention the "runner's high" you get after. It's all really a combination. Lets walk through it...

You're starting out, kinda tense because you don't really want to stretch before you run because that's actually worse for you. (Don't know why? Google it) Then you start, you're trying to set a good pace for yourself, not to get to overexcited and burnout quick. Then the surrounded engulf you, trees for days, birds and deer and the occasional lizards everywhere, the smell of the trails, ahhhh nostalgia. Everything about running in those hills is amazing for me, even though i'm as slow as a snail now, i really want to get back into shape, i feel like i would enjoy it more now that i've learned to appreciate everything in nature and not just be so focused on running. Another great thing about running is how good you feel afterwards, i might feel a little tired, but it's as if one of my lungs just magically reappeared again! You can breath so much better and it sure does give you a feeling of more energy. All in all i will take all the cramps and pains for everything that running offers. Running is the ultimate reliever of all things stressful.

Now for something new: When a girl kisses a guy on the cheek, what does that mean? It's the ultimate misleader in my mind, does it mean the girl likes him but doesn't like him enough, or does it just mean the guy is sweet and you're too afraid to make the first move.... Ah the mind boggles, to think telling someone you like them would be so hard. Well of course it is! The thought that they might reject you could send you spiraling down into never confessing to someone ever again, a scary thought indeed.

A friend asks me... "Who do you hang out with?" That's a pretty good question i think... I tell him i hang out with this group, i talk with these people, i do this with that person... and he goes, "that's it?" That's it!? This coming from a guy who does nothing but hangs out with his girlfriend and before that nothing but his cousin. Thats it... Grr... That's kinda annoying, but what can you do. The second it goes on this blog i shall forget about it until i reread it again.

I was looking back at some of my 2008 entries and some of them are still pretty funny. My opinions about how women should put the seat up for guys instead of the other way around is definitely a questionable topic but a lot of it was just to get my mind off of things at the time. San Francisco can be a pretty lonely if you don't really know anyone. I hope it's not going to be like that when i move out again after i graduate.

Around this time last year, i was in Denmark. I was getting to meet all these new people, see all these new things. Time sure does fly. I wonder if how many people actually missed me, how many people would miss me if i left somewhere far for a job or something. The group i hang out with is going through a lot of changes, lots of people leaving, lots of things changing, there are times when we mention one of our friends, mainly to bash on him, but we miss him, and everyone else that left. I just hope its the same if i ever go.

Tomorrow will be another day, I hope it will be just as fulfilling as its felt like today. Til next time kids!

The Fastest Way to a Guy's Heart....

So i have writer's block. More or less. I feel more lazy than anything. I just don't want to write about history of Korea and what people do there! I mean all and all it's an interesting topic, but i feel more at ease when i'm taking an opinion on something. You can't take opinions on facts. 1+1=2 is not very interesting to write about. So here i am, going to blog just so i can get my mind off of my assignment and prolong what i have to do that's going to be due in a couple days. That's fine by me, i could probably bust it out all monday since i have no work or school, but that seems pretty stressful. And since i'm not doing anything better with my life at the moment, i SHOULD take the initiative and bust this essay out.

Maybe it's just me, but i find reading letters and emails are WAY more interesting to read that when you're merely just talking to them online or through FB or what have you. Maybe its because you stop for a second and just focus on reading that letter or the email. Sure, there are times when you're distracted from reading it and if the email is long enough you have to stop and take a break. But most of the time, in my head i cherish it more just because someone took the time to write it to me. I hate mass emails, that kills the personal effect of the email and just seems like another post on FB. To have a REAL connection with someone, whether that just be a minor one or a huge one, messages between just two people just hit a different chord in my book. I guess you can compare it to getting a birthday greeting now a days on FB to getting an actual card from someone.

While we're on the topic of things that give me that oh so warm feeling inside, we should talk about food. I love food, i guess i would have to blame my love of food for the reason i have to compulsively have to work out everyday, which i haven't been and now i feel like im carrying a rock with me everytime i take a step now. I look back at all the horrible things we as kids used to stick down our throats without a second thought. It scares me to remember me eating 2 boxes of cheese sticks during lunch and not feel a thing. If i would have done that today i would be stuck in the bathroom for days. I guess you could say my palette has grown a little stronger and i have a love for foods that excite my taste buds. Which brings me to the question.

If the fastest way to a guy's heart is through his stomach why is there a more and more increasing number of girls who don't know how to cook?

Wouldn't you think that is the first things girls would learn if they wanted to impress a guy? When it comes down to it, guys will look at a girl and sure "rate" them and what not, but after all that looking the guy actually might want to get to know a girl, and when they find out that they don't really know how to do anything, theres got to be something wrong here. Now guys are learning to cook and be sensitive to girls feelings, but girls now a days are just becoming lazy. As guys we really don't need much, but it's a shame that so many girls, feel like they aren't "good enough" to learn how to cook. Cooking is almost never something you are gifted with, it's something you learn, everyone fell off the bike at one point, it's time they start learning how to cook some Risotto! (which is one of my favorite side dishes) Okay Okay that MIGHT have sounded a bit sexist, but in all honesty, guys are trying their best to understand you guys as well, trying to get in your world, and you see where that's failed us, we become that "friend" that guy that knows how to cook a mean salmon, or can go shopping with us, but when it comes down to it girls really do enjoy a Guy's Guy. Not some fruffy metro dude that cares more about his hair than what you had to say to him that day. FACE IT, its the truth and it works both ways with a guy.

Well that's enough for me to keep moving on with my writing. My old teacher was write about this write about other things if you can't write about what you're suppose to thing. Now lets hope i'm not blogging in a couple hours again >_<. LATER!

Listerine BEFORE you brush!

So wow, i said i would blog around the end of june but it ended up being the middle of july! Ouch.. a whole month, well i was busy with everything that i mentioned (birthdays, school, work, the works)... and i'm really glad the month of june is over. Just a bunch of crazy projects that i am glad i have under my belt.

Anyway, i wake up this morning feeling pretty awesome, being that I've had food poisoning for the past 2 days i think today is going to be a relatively better one. Seafood is definitely not something i'm going to want to crave eating for a while, even though yesterday i ate sushi lol. So i go into the bathroom and start to do my usual morning stuff and i think to myself "why is it that i brush my teeth then use the Listerine when i clearly don't like to use Listerine so maybe i'll just do that first then brush my teeth?" GENIUS! But of course theres probably some rule in the directions about using mouth wash after you brush your teeth but i'm just going to ignore it and think it's better to do it early than never do it at all.

The month of July has been pretty good for me. It's been surprisingly good for me actually. It starts out with me having those major projects and finals due at the end of june, my group and i did so well that we ended up getting almost 20% extra bump up from my final grade because we just put in a little extra effort. Of course during that whole month i was stressed out like crazy, but it was good to know hard work doesnt come off unnoticed.

I don't know what it is, but surrounding yourself with people with positive energy makes me feel so much better than people who are stressed or have internal struggles.
Yeah yeah, that's obvious, but the next time you get a chance to notice yourself TRULY laugh and enjoy everyones company, take a second to look at who you're with. One of those days happened a couple weeks ago, it was just me and a couple friends, we went out to Mogo's some taco truck place, I don't even remember what we were talking about really, just stuff that happened that weekend, we were all laughing and joking around, just good energy. The end of that day was nice too, got to hang out with someone who just seems to surprise me more and more.


Work is work, I enjoy it, but there are going to be a lot of changes pretty soon since our manager is leaving =[. Going to another store since he did so well at ours. I've got to say i'm really happy they have me a chance at this starbucks. I really get a long well with everyone there and all the customers. It's just a good environment for me to be in while still making money haha.

If you read the blog post before, i said i would be working on trying to be nicer to people or atleast use my words better to not sound so mean i guess. I don't know if it's working or if people think i'm just constantly sad or silent. I don't get it, People will criticize me when i talk, but then when i don't talk they think theres something wrong with me. There's got to be a better way to see how I am than just judge me by how much my mouth moves. Ah, oh well, what can you do...

Went to SF the other day, that was the 2nd time in two weeks of nonschool related activities. Definitely enjoyable on both ends, In these 2 days i've probably only explored 3 parts of the city! of course there are some not so nice areas but still plenty of amazing ones! All in All, this month has been great, hopefully this food poisoning is karma's way of telling me that there are more good things to come, because there has to be a balance of good and bad. Anywho, lets let you kids off for today, I had actual topics to write about but since i haven't filled you in with my life for the past month i'll just do it next week (hopefully)...

Late!

Cinnabon is the Devil

So i figured i'd just post my birthday list here since there are only a handful of people that actually read this thing, and those same people are the only ones that probably even want to get me a gift for my birthday. It's okay if you don't, it'd make me happy to just have a beer with you at the dukes on wednesday but here goes:
1. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, I heard this book is pretty crazy to read. And if i ever get a chance to read for pleasure again, maybe i should pick this up.
2. Training Gear - Like a reflex ball or a water bottle that is super cheap. Its plastic/rubber? looking and has a wide mouth for ice and can be squeezed like you see basketball players have for their gatorade that would be cool.
3.Ties are always acceptable, any will do as long as it has some type of pattern, i saw this polka dot one that looked pretty awesome, just don't really know if i could rock it. But if you do get it i'd prolly just buy something to make it work. lol.
4. A card that is handmade gets way more points than a card that is just bought, but i can understand the difficulty of card getting and a card is a card nonetheless which i really do appriciate a lot. Oh and gift cards are totally cool! Gives me an excuse to go get something from whereever you want me to go. Just not Starbucks or Jamba please, that's really just screaming out you don't talk to me. Lol.
Well, thats all i'm going to put because i doubt theres going to be anymore than 4 people who would even consider getting me a gift. On with the real blog...

So i log onto my blog and it tells me that the template to my blog sucks and needs redecorating. Sadly enough, i do it. It was pretty fun though to be honest. I got that new gadget sitting on top of my blog now and you could play with that if you're ever so inclined. Just click and it'll put food in the imaginary water and the fish will swim and eat it. The fish will also follow your mouse so that's going to be distracting if you're actually trying to read my blog.

I'm not really too sure what to blog about today so i'll try to keep it short. I've been writing a lot in my little pocket journal thing. It comes in handy when i just want to express my views on things without it killing me the entire day. One example is when i'm in class and this chubby asian kid is breathing extremely loud. Sure he's probably breathing pretty loud because hes chubs but i can't stop hearing it and thinking "Damn, really?!" I mean i know some big dudes and they dont breath like him. Of course when we were all talking about our eating habits, it makes a hell of a lot more sense why he's the way he is because of what goes into his body than my guy friends. Note to self: Never eat Cinnabon ever again (though i don't ever really eating it all myself). 5000 Calories! That's 2.5 days worth of calories that you could've spent better. Anyway that doesn't bother me as much as the same unhealthy people in the class talking about eating right when they're overweight themselves. Isn't that just contradicting? We as people are never in a position to judge other people, yet we still do it. It's just normal i guess. I just hope me laughing at the ridiculousness of the matter is a more respectable way to judge people than being downright rude to them.

Okay, let's all say it: Allan, you're pretty mean. Yes, I am. Its kind of disheartening for me. My boss calls it "tough love". He felt belittled because i call him out on a lot of things because i like things done a certain way at work, and when they're not i tell him as more of an equal than a boss. When i say these things to him I can be pretty mean because i throw in my sarcastic dry humor. I guess my dry humor can be pretty mean if you take it the wrong way, which people have been known to do. Maybe it's my tone, I really just say it to be laugh with you, not laugh at you. What can you do about it... is what i would say. BUT i'm definitely trying to watch what i say around others, but it's a process and it's not just going to happen overnight. One hope is that i can still keep that wittiness that i oh so enjoy with others but just find a better means of using it i guess.

That's all for now kids, probably wont blog again until maybe the end of June due to birthdays, projects, essays, the works.

The Month of May

Wow, i can't believe the last time i blogged was a month ago! Shame allan, Shameeee...

I try to keep this thing going atleast twice a week, for good measure that my head doesnt explode with things i wish i would have put on this blog. I'm getting better with it though, i'm getting a mini-journal i guess you could call it. I guess the "correct" term for it is a journalist notebook. Looks like one of those things that Lois Lane would carry before DC had her carry a recorder. Hopefully it comes in handy, it'll fit in my back pocket and ill hopefully jot down things like "blog notes: 'i wonder why people are so impatient(i.e random person at starbucks)" or whatever. I know people will think, "Allan, why don't you just write it down on your phone or w/e since you have a notepad on it?" Been there, tried it, doesn't work as well, when you have so much information on your phone, its hard to just sit down and see what you've written down for the day. Life can be so complex, goes to show why people living simpler lives are happier than those who aren't.

It's not really surprising, but i can never seem to go to the gym in the summer. It's horrible, the best time to lose weight and get in better shape, and i hate it. I enjoy sweating when i'm active, i HATE sweating when i'm just sitting around trying to enjoy my afternoon reading comics. I will try to keep up my regular gym routine of 5-6 days a week, but it just seems incredibly difficult when you wake up all sweaty. The month of may when it came to gym time has been all about swimming. Lets make this clear, I suck at swimming. With that in mind, i can: float and swim, i can't: do a butterfly for crap, hold my breath very long it seems, and swim more than 2 laps of freestyle (total of 100 meters) without having to rest. It probably has to do with my form. I go to the gym and i see these guys swim with incredible form, i on the other hand probably look like im just flapping my arms all over the place. But i enjoy it, it beats running on the treadmill, or doing the stairmaster. I have been a little lazy with my weight lifting because i think to myself, i'm going to be swimming anyway, so i think ill just take it easy. I'll break that train of thought soon enough.

The other theme of this month of may other than swimming has been "The Flaws of Allan Nguyen, Narrated by Everyone He Knows." It really all came in waves i guess, if we made a timeline it would be BF, before finals, and AF, after finals. Surprisingly finals was the only thing that kept me from feeling like complete crap, and of course swimming. I feel like a good person, and i think i make the right decisions in life, but sometimes with the things people say to me, it seems like they only put up with my crap. Yes, i can be a little eccentric when it comes to some things, but isn't it better to just be upfront about things and not let them bottle up inside? What's disgusted me the most of this month is how little people know me, i can take a hint, hell, i don't even need a hint, i can see it in your eyes, i can hear it in your voice. Everyone has patterns, everyone has little things they do when they're happy, and yes, sad. Not saying I'm Sherlock Holmes when it comes to seeing things, but its just disappointing seeing the change in a person when they've given up on somethings or some people.

"Never become cynical, nothing good comes from a person who is cynical, live life by working hard and being kind and it will take you places my friend."

It sure is easier to just be a jerk, but you sure can sleep better knowing you're fighting for the good guys.

Easy Come, Easy Go...

...is probably what i'm feeling right now. We'll i guess if we were to change this it would be "Hard come, Hard go" because I just came from playing tennis and it seems like all of it is still there, but of course this is not a blog about tennis. If this were a blog about tennis, there probably wouldn't be much to talk about since i know diddly squat. Well, while we're on the topic i might as well... lol...

Tennis is a funny sport. Scoring is funny, clothes are funny, everything about it just screams someone was probably high or really bored when they made this game. Small ball that bounces, Huge racket that hits, Net that is in the way. I bet it was pretty cool playing tennis in Khakis and white polos, Very Photogenic. But besides that the sport is still pretty silly, with girls needing their outfits to match their rackets, and the need for spandex. Players who grow up in tennis and actually win more than a couple games here and there have a superiority complex and always have to show someone else up. Its a sport based on your own mental well being. There is no one to rely on when you're in a match because no one is allowed to coach you. You can't blame them for having this kind of attitude, you have to have it if you want to win. People say you can be nice and courteous but thats only if you are too good for them to say something, or you just like being pushed around. In a sport where your opponent has the power to call a point in or out, you can't just assume everyones going to be honest. Oh well, what can you do... Football > Tennis. Period.

A solid question that has been on my mind for maybe the past quarter is that what happens when you're with a person, and you want them to change. Whether its for the better or just because you have a preference that you'd prefer they start becoming. And say, they do change, EXACTLY how you want them to. But you realize that by doing that you lost what you liked in them in the first place. Well, for example, You want your girlfriend to be more outgoing, you wish she tried a little harder to be more open, and after time, she does, shes always going out, always speaking her mind, and you fail to even recognize that shy, quiet girl that you once met hanging out with friends. If things are going to change they will eventually, its inevitable, forcing it to change never seems to be a good idea to me. We could go extreme and say some dude is a drug addict and you're there to change him because you see potential, but then again. Once he's clean, you're probably going to get bored because you saw that being a druggie was apart of who he was, haha, and thats what got you wanting to help him in the first place. I guess you just have to get lucky.

There are a lot of things i want that i can't have. One of these things is that i wish i cared less haha. "Superman" is something someone calls me a lot and how i can't be that person all the time, because even he needs to be Clark Kent sometimes. I guess i like helping people, maybe its something that proves I'm here, not just another person, maybe its to make amends for all the bad i did in the past, which in retrospect aren't as bad as i thought, but still kind of bad. People don't just help because of the goodness in their heart, theres always a reason, doing it to make yourself feel good is definitely a reason. Moral obligation is a solid one too. The problem with being a good problem solver is that thats all i seem to be. Once the problem is solved, i'm horrible with just keeping things all nice and dandy. I would definitely prefer life without problems, but it seems like the people in my life disappear as soon as the problem is fixed. Without the Joker, there is no Batman. Just some masked dude beating up random hoodlums on the street. That's not very Super. Do i feel like i've been taken advantage of sometimes? Sure... But it's not to say i shouldn't bother helping others still. Just because someone can't save Superman from a falling piece of skyscraper doesn't mean he shouldn't return the favor haha. Ok less comic book talk, I just couldn't think of any solid examples at the time.

We'll thats all for today, until next time kids...